You imagine how I think fucking now what Id do to you. I dont need this shit. And traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. I got like 20 tweets from one guy, going, My wifes pussy was burning like No, you didnt. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. I saw this on the news the other day. Stream It Or Skip It: 'Tom Jones' On PBS, A Romance-Focused Adaptation Of Henry Fielding's Novel, Stream It or Skip It: 'Spring Breakthrough' on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Proves We Need More Keesha Sharp, Stream It or Skip It: 'Hearts in the Game' on Hallmark Just Might Be the Network's Movie of the Year. Remove Ads Cast Crew Details Genres Cast Ron White 63 mins More at IMDb TMDb Sign in to log, rate or review Share Ratings 1 fan 3.3 And so, White closes by turning back time to talk about a weekend in December 1996, when White opened for Foxworthy in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand, while Engvall opened for Reba McEntire down the strip at Caesars Palace. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. One, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. And the guy that played Tarzan was a really, really handsome fella, and he was really a good-looking guy, but I was watching it, thinking, You know, if that guy from Thor, Chris Hemsworth, was in this, this would really be a better movie, cause Id just rather look at Chris Hemsworth without his shirt on. What the fuck did you just think? My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. Jesus. 5,838, This story has been shared 5,093 times. Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. Get a dress the size of a fucking barn and come on back to the Golden Corral. [mooing] They call it Golden Corral, of course, because somebody was already using the name Ye Olde Fat Fuckery. I picked up the DVD, looked at the cover, it looked like somebodys trying to shove a pumpkin through a beach ball. They just like to watch. Im there for eight months. I have no idea what color my asshole is. Jeff sold more comedy albumsthan Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby combined. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. They also say friends dont let friends drive drunk. You cant fix stupid. Thats all they sell. Ron White - You can`t fix stupid - video Dailymotion What? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Squirrels. Im the watchdog at our house. Governor Schwarzenegger helped me with that second one, so I didnt have to do that one myself, so thats good. And just do a comb-over. lindsey? This is also his first stand-up special since his 2011's 'A Little Unprofessional'. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. It seemed like they would give you a sack or something. Best deal Ive ever heard of in my life to this day. It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. our special coverage of the white house correspondents dinner starts right now neck . Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Legendary comedian and podcaster Marc Maron stars in his first-ever HBO comedy special filmed in front of a live audience at New York Citys Town Hall. Ill tell you how the conversation ended, and then youll know how it went. 1,410, This story has been shared 1,216 times. Theres nothing you can do about it. Im the reluctant watchdog. Nobody would give a shit. I wouldnt do it. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. All rights reserved. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. I fucking hate geese. And it turns out I had no problem with it at all. Youre not even trying? Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. He also tweets@thecomicscomicand podcasts half-hour episodes with comedians revealing origin stories:The Comics Comic Presents Last Things First. Thats all Im saying. Thats it. No, this has to fucking happen. [bleating] I cant wait till they go hog-wild and just put a sugar lick right there in the middle of the fucking room. See how much funner it is to say? Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Nobodys moving till we get across this street. They could have flown over the fucking street. Regal Thats all you get. Is she there? How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. And he said that the Golden Corrals the best place to find these people cause he says thats where the really big girls like to winter. The one I saw was called, Its Just Lunch, and what they do is they just hook people up, and they have lunch, broad daylight, right in the middle of the day. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. I wish you would have told us that up front. I was the feature act at the Punchline Comedy Club in Sacramento, California. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. Im like, What do I even do? You let me think, I went my whole life, that Id pissed in Joe Paines fucking bunk bed?, So my wife and I, we both tour extensively, and, uh she bought us two dogs, which, you know, just makes touring easier if you have a couple of dogs to drag with you on all those flights, and she bought us two French Bulldogs. [cheering and applause] Thats pretty slick. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). Okay. I understand how unnecessary that was. This happened last Wednesday at The Comedy Store in LA. Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others These are two broke fucking fingers. And I know some guys that have had one homosexual experience or two or 10,000, doesnt make a fuck bit of difference to me. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. It was juvenated, it became un-juvenated, it needs to be rejuvenated. Ill give you a second to get your arms around that. And I was about 12 years old and I had gone three months without wetting the bed. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I have a back-up plan to curtail the goose population in America.
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